Manifesto
Currently what is deemed “art” in our culture is, more often than not, defined by one of two groups. The first group: wealthy art collectors and scholars. These types like to show off their “superior” knowledge and taste by telling the poor dumb populace why this 3 foot red dot is not just a dot, but an important work of art, or why this abstract expressionist painting “is filled with life and vitality” while this other abstract expressionist painting looks like it was made by a three year old. Really, we all know that all abstract expressionist paintings look if they were made by a three year old, and yes, that is only a big ass dot. The other group that is trying to push their ideas of what is truly “art” is the artists themselves. They try to show off and throw around big words like “juxtapose” and “duality”. They talk about the “subtle nuances of color and texture” and “recontextualizing the zeitgeist of modern experience”. They position themselves as the chosen, and that their “art” is the truest form of self expression. While self expression may be a good thing, most of these artists have never had anything worth expressing.
I believe this is wrong. I want to be the one to tell the poor stupid masses what to think. I should be the one to consult when it comes to matters of style and taste. I know what art really is, and I won’t be swayed by the bullshit that artists and academics try to cram down all our throats. Anyone who comes around here trying to pull that intellectually superior crap is in serious danger of getting bitch-slapped.
I believe that “art” isn’t some ivory tower pass-time for the elite. I believe that “art” doesn’t have to be a puzzling, chin scratching experience. I believe that most artists and galleries are really full of shit, but are too scared to admit it. I believe that Elvis might actually be alive. Mostly I believe that nothing is sacred, not “art”, not me, and not you, especially not you.